I Can't Get No Satisfaction

I've come to the determination that I'm one of those people for whom the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. For the past five years, I've worked without a lot of time off, and every single morning my alarm would go off I would wish I could stay at home. Then one day my husband got a new job, and suddenly that alarm was silenced. Now I find myself at home, only two days into being a temporary stay at home mom again, and I find myself wondering if I'd be happier getting a part time job. I suddenly have empty days to fill without the company of the children who I was complaining about last week. Is there ever a perfect moment when I can just relax and enjoy my life? I had one day like that once. It was right after we bought our house. John was still stationed on the east coast, my girls were in school for the day, and I invited my grandmother up for the day. We sat on my porch, rocking in my rockers, drinking iced tea and watching hummingbirds fly by. We didn't do much talking, just enjoyed the sunshine and the beautiful day. I can remember thinking what a perfect day it was and I was able to stop and enjoy the moment. That is the only time I ever felt like that when I was actually in the moment. In retrospect, I had some wonderful days I wish I could go back and revisit indefinitely. Why wasn't I able to wring that type of enjoyment out of them while I was experiencing them? Or is that what life is? One long series of restrospective feelings that you missed out on enjoying the days you didn't know were perfect until after they are gone? I have a sneaking suspicion that sums up child rearing as well. It's one long string of days made up of the everyday mundane, a few flashes of intensity along the way and then one day they are grown. You think "that's it? Hold it, if I had know X day was going to be the best ever with my child, I wouldn't have been so short with them. I would have enjoyed it more!" If only, if only. The saddest statement in the English language.

And in other news...I still cannot post pictures. I've made sure I get cookies, my popups aren't blocked, and everything else this site suggests. I've also written to their help desk and no one answers.